Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
