is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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