Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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