I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
