your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
