i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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