so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize