i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
