She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
