you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
