I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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