Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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