So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
