Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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