hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
