if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
