Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
