I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
