I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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