she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
