I wannas sexs uuuuu
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
