Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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