Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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