I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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