So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
