I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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