Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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