***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We named our party play list daddy issues
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
