If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I am naked and annoyed.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize