omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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