i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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