One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
