what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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