so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
we're so committed to being not committed
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
