Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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