we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
everyone is single if you try hard enough
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
