True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
