I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
