Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
