Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
