i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize