how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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