just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
