drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
