ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
