I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
