Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
