They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
