Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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