You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
