Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
