Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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