so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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