How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
