Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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