Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
