Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
