O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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