DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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