I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
