his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
