do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
