You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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