and she was petting her beer can
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
