haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
