Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
