I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
