I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
